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What does a relationship mean to you?
Main Post:
We have a lot of discussion here about exclusive vs dating vs relationship that got me thinking: for those that separate "exclusive" from "relationship", what are the expectations that you put on someone with the gf/bf title that you don't put on someone you're dating exclusively? What changes for you when you use the title? If you say you're ready to be exclusive but not ready for a relationship, what do you need to see or know or learn before you're ready to use that title?
Top Comment:
I was exclusive with my (now) boyfriend from our first date. That meant we were focusing on getting to know each other. We were only dating and sleeping with each other, and we both had clear intentions to pursue a serious relationship. We texted a little every day but only saw each other 1-2 times a week.
We didn’t officially call it a relationship until about three months of dating exclusively. What changed?
- Labels. It’s silly, but helpful for clarity’s sake. We started calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend.
- Commitment. We knew and liked each other well enough to commit to making this work. We’re not going to walk away over nothing, ghost each other, or try to find someone new. We established expectations for monogamy and began assuming things will “work out.”
- More involvement in each other’s lives. We met each other’s friends and family.
- More frequent dates (at least two days a week, but sometimes up to five).
- Vacations and holidays together.
- Planning longterm dates (like a year in the future).
- More vulnerable conversations and emotional support.
- More sleepovers.
- He gave me his phone password, spare key, and told me I could leave some clothes/hygiene items at his place.
- More “dates” at home just cooking dinner, watching a movie, gaming, etc.
- We assume we’re at least spending the weekend together. When you’re just dating, you have to be intentional with making plans.
- We openly talk about our future. Instead of saying “how do you feel about marriage/kids/moving somewhere new in general,” it’s more like “could you see yourself marrying me, having kids with me, moving somewhere with me, etc.”
What's the definition of "relationship"?
Main Post:
INTJ(F) here, feeling like the only person who doesn't understand the game and needing some light shed on the meaning of "relationship" from different perspectives. Specifically, romantic relationships.
My understanding of relationships has always been "an agreed arrangement between those involved" and the picture this paints is essentially two (or more) individuals agreeing to something.
My husband (ENFP-M) on the other hand constantly talks about "the relationship" as if it's a 3rd party person between the two which is a concept I cannot wrap my head around. So internet people, please help shed some light on this brick of a brain, what does he mean and what does "relationship" mean to others out there?
Top Comment:
A 2 way street between two people. What travels in that street is all the raw ingredients for a romantic relationship (mutual support, affection, etc.).
If one of them cuts it, it becomes a one-sided relationship. Only one person gets the benefit and the other doesn't.
If both are cut, then the relationship is non existent.